If you've ever wondered why an employee doesn't seem to understand your direction, despite how clear you are, or doesn't seem engaged, despite how well you support your team, there's a good chance the problem lies not with the employee, but in the space between your intentions and their impact. In fact, the gap between our intent and its impact on our teams exists for every leader, no matter their industry, experience, or seniority.

Misunderstandings, poor performance, lack of commitment or motivation: these problems all live and grow in that gap. Sometimes that gap is small, sometimes it's a chasm. In any instance, it is a vessel for the makings of confusion, frustration and conflict.

To be clear, this problem isn't about our intentions as leaders. All leaders want success for their teams — to connect with, direct, or protect their people. The issue is in our assessment of our impact, or lack thereof. And when these problems reveal themselves during times of frustration with our teams, it can be even more challenging to turn the attention away from them and back toward ourselves.

So, how do we zap the gap?

Acknowledge It
The first step to closing the gap is acknowledging that it exists, and that it exists for everyone. Humans aren't perfect, and we can't be expected to communicate perfectly all the time. While it might bring up feelings of guilt or shame, acknowledging the gap without being defensive or dismissive is crucial if we want to minimize it. Failing to acknowledge this very real phenomenon that exists for millions of people, is simply, negligent.

Get Intentional
Once the gap is acknowledged, we need to get intentional about closing it. It is that gap that, after all, leads to poor performance, low motivation, and unnecessary strife. And ultimately, it's our employees who suffer the most from it. Zapping it will require concerted efforts and making it known to our teams that we take this seriously.

But understanding how to close the gap requires the honest feedback of our teams, so if we haven't built trust, it will be challenging to get that feedback in the first place. One way to establish a relationship of trust is to begin the conversation by explaining the outcomes you're looking for: “I value you and want your success”; “I want to be a better leader”; “I want to have the strongest possible working relationship with you.” Offering these messages to your team shows them they matter and they can hold you accountable, and it also gives them permission to bring issues to your attention.

Create Means of Assessment
We can acknowledge the gap and get intentional about zapping it, but how will we know if our efforts are working? This is a critical third step: setting up ways to measure or assess your efforts is the only way to ensure they're productive. That might look like regular check-ins with your team, employee assessments or interviews by a third party, or leadership assessment tools (like our CORE leader score). Stating your intention to change is the easy part — it's in aligning our behaviour with those intentions that requires hard work.

Take Feedback Seriously
Finally, in order for this process to be successful, we can't dismiss the feedback we get from our teams or assessments. Getting defensive and brushing aside our team's perspective just sets up the conditions for that gap to widen, because it tells our teams that it's not safe for them to provide honest feedback. At Brivia, it's not uncommon to hear us say, “the feedback that stings the most is the feedback that requires the most attention.” It's also important to remind ourselves that while we may not be able to address all the feedback we receive, we can address some of it by taking it one step at a time and making gradual, continuous progress.

The gap between our intentions and impact exists for everyone. But if we don't make efforts to zap the gap, it will continue to have a negative impact on the relationship between us as leaders and our teams. While many of us aren't comfortable approaching our people to ask about their experience, we must acknowledge that it's important and necessary. Remember: your employee's story is going on with or without you, so you can choose to be a part of it or not.

Stephen de Groot is President and CoFounder at Brivia. Visit gettingtobetter.com to sign up for updates on the release of Stephen de Groot's new book, Getting to Better: A New Model for Elevating Human Potential at Work and in Life, where you'll get updates and access to exclusive pop-up events.